Spank your way to happiness!

Stumbled across this article on the internet. We all knew this right? While we've never had huge relationship drama, our communication and ease in discussing the tough stuff has grown so much since we opened the door to this lifestyle. The thing with going down this road is that even when there are spells where outside stressors, family situations, health, or whatever it is that puts this dynamic on the back burner... it never goes away completely. The growth we experience both individually and as a couple goes with us through those gaps when spankings and power exchange aren't getting much attention.

There are also times where it's not responsible to enforce strict rules or expect my husband to stay in serious Dom mode. I've had to tinker with various medication dosages over the years. That's not a great time to spank like all is well. The past few summers we've faced some really tough hurts with each of our extended families. As we've worked through those, we've each just not had anything else to give. As my husband hurt it may have seemed like I stepped into a more aggressive role in insisting he put up certain boundaries with family. But it wasn't like our pre-DD days. Where I may have yelled and just been so angry about him being hurt, I have more empathy now. I felt sad he was being hurt. I felt driven to protect him. We both prefer those nights that end with us in our preferred dynamic, checking in, spanking whether for play or seriousness. But these valleys, while frustrating, help keep us real with each other. In those "hard to explain until you're in it" things you only learn exist when in a long-term committed relationship, some very big, good things have happened. It's not a good thing when either of us is hurting. It's heartbreaking to watch. I wish these things didn't come to pass. But we come through them closer. And somehow our hard kid is turning into the most emotionally healthy, self-aware, confident human being I've ever met. I attribute a lot of that to the discussions my husband and I have when I'm bent over the bed or kneeling. He and I are both becoming better communicators and more comfortable talking about emotions and expectations. Everyone around us benefits from us being emotionally healthier.  In the years we've been in this dynamic, I've learned more about myself than the rest of my life combined. 

I've been thinking lately about how important it is to prioritize our dynamic when we aren't caught up in other things. To really weigh what is worth our energy if it takes us away from this. Because when things come up that we have to be pulled into, be it a child's struggle or mother-in-law chaos, we are better prepared to take on those storms. The hard things in life have a way of pulling a couple apart. Hunkering down and intentionally living the HOH/submissive dynamic protects us from those things - and we've got to remember that when it's so easy to go to bed rather than check-in over something seemingly minute.

Whatever goes on neurologically during this power exchange is really, really good stuff. I wouldn't recommend treating depression, anxiety, or any other mental health need with spanking and kinky sex... please see a professional mental health provider!! (No shame in it, we've all got mental health needs!) But whatever your thing, make time for it. You'll feel better.